last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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