Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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