so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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