I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
