On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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