We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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