? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
