dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
All I want is dick and wine.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
