Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
