how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
