Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
