The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Someone signed my nipple.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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