this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
