She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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