I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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