Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
