She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
