I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
