In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
