he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
