I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
