Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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