I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i may or may not be watching the land before time
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
