That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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