dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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