Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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