when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
