Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
