NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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