I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
