physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
