Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
