He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
