About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
this is an emotional support booty call
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
