very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Dicks are not precious.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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