She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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