I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
