Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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