Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
