He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
