if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
