This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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