Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
