I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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