When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
