How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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