wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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