dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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