i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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