I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
