I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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