Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
