just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
