She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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