Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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