I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize