Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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