Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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