it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
