you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i think my cat just said my name.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
