so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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