After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize