I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
