did you get engaged???
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
