I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
