Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
