OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
