How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
