If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
