Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
