Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
