drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
