Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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