he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
