i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
